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Gissing, George

The Little Woman From Lancashire

In my ongoing efforts to impress upon you my unparalleled prowess at podCASTrophilia, I’ve spent the evening downloading all these applications that allow one to do things like “Normalise” and “Reduce Peak” and “Remove Hiss” and “Shift Frequency,” all of which I, with my many skills, understand perfectly well and can do with ease, while sipping tea with one hand and scratching my head in the other. Not that I suffer from lice or confusion or anything else that might make me want to scratch my head. Sometimes it just feels good, is all.

So I downloaded all these applications, and normalised and reduced peak and removed hiss, but didn’t shift frequency by much because the the pitch was just right (do I SOUND like I know what I’m talking about?), and it sounded really lovely and clean and you could -barely- hear the bus go by, but then went to save and realised it was all just a save-disabled demo dream. Elas. Another time perhaps; no sense delaying bedtime or a story for it. Sweet dreams.

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