Dearest listeners of the internet, I know. I’ve been gone. Many of you have pointed this out to me, though by the time I returned to read your pleas and queries, I was back, relieved of goneness, and racked with guilt over how abandoned you’d all been left, was at a loss at what I might read to redeem myself.
And excuse me for saying so, but I think I’ve outdone myself here. QED: tonight’s story involves mention of Proust and Montaigne, chimpanzees, booze, guns, the laws of probability, and haughty old rich guys. And if that isn’t enough, tonight’s blathery preface involves mention of raccoons, trailmix, and the implication of a bloody battle of which there was only one survivor.
And if that’s not exciting enough for you, next time I’ll read to you while underwater and chained up in front of Times Square.