There’s a common Yoruban idiom, “oruko lonro ni,” which means, more or less, that your name affects your actions, defines your character, determines your destiny. For instance, if you’re named Lady, you’re going to end up exceptionally feminine. If your parents were brazen enough to name you Klepto, you might find yourself in a spot of trouble. And if your name (or even your nom de guerrotype) is Miette, well, you end up very crumbly. Which is better than crumby, by just about all accounts, if nothing else.

And if your name is Fielding Dawson? Who can say? Just one wad of spare triviatum, delivered your way.

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